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August 8, 2011

 

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August 8, 2011

 

 

 

Ngay Thang Nam

August 8, 2011

Today is your 8th day leaving this world Cu .I keep thinking about you . Every where I go I think and remember you . I don’t know how to stop. I’m hurt from keep thinking about you . I don’t want to feel hurt like this anymore Cu . I can’t live like this everyday. Why did you gone like that ? I’m lonely in this world. Everyone around care for me but I just need you . I need you more than anything in my life. Why are you gone like that ? How can I fine someone like you in the future ? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , I want to go somewhere and scream so that I can feel better. Living everyday like this is BORED . I hate you Cu , you’re an asshole . I keep thinkinggg , I wish I can stop . What will happen if i keep thinking , crying & feeling sad ? Will you come back to life & live ? I’m a foool . A big onee . I can’t wait till school start so I can concentrate on my school work & stop thinking about you …….. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . I wish I can scream out loud . I wish I can hit my head somewhere & forget everything in this world. I wish I don’t know you from the start so that i won’t feeling this sad & tired . I feel so tired in this house . Everything around me really make me think of you . I wish I can be someone else . I don’t want to think about you anymore . ahhhhhhhhh . You didn’t even said & you just leave like that . Why .. why don’t you listen to me ? I tell you to not drive that stuff  . I told you it dangerous & it can kill you. I tell you to don’t touch it & you don’t even listen to me . I tell you to don’t feel regret later in life & yet you’re still doing it . WHY WHY WHY … ? Why don’t you listen to me ? Is it fate or it just you being a hard head ? 

; )

August 7, 2011

Hello my love ; ) Today is the last day I saw you. I bring the Ong Cu & put it next to your right shoulder , did you see it ? I also put the money heart that i use to fold for you before & you always carry it in your wallet. I put it under your hand. ; D I hope it will cheer you down there. Even though your soul is gone & your body are laying on the ground , but having those special stuff around your body will help you from being alone. I will come over there often to visit you. Im really feeling grateful to Dan Cu , I feel bad that he keep taking me back & forth and keep coming over here , but I will paid him the gas & toll money. : ) I won’t use anybody , just like in our love I don’t use you. Isn’t that why you love me ? Is it because I respect older people , think for other & don’t use other people ? Am i thinking too highly of myself ? hehe ^^ A lot of your beloved friends has come today . Ahh , why did you come to my dream last night and scare me ? I was so scare Cu . You are not the Ong Cu that I know last night , somehow you look like a different person and scare me. I scream in my dream & my sister hear me .. I hope you won’t scare me next time & just come in there and talk to me normal like in real life. Dan dream about you but it was a normal dream , why you do scare me ?  I forget to tell you that some professor from Rodger Williams University come all the way from Rhode Island to attend your funeral . 😀 Everyone said your a good boy & i’m happy to hear it . I’m happy for being your other half because I feel like i’m the luckiest girl alive to have a bf like you . = ) Even though you are gone but I will still love you deeply inside my heart. No matter what you’re my first lover & I won’t forget you . You will be in my heart forever & if one day I do met someone that love me like the way you love me thhat person will just rank as number2 because you’re always Number1 = D grr , my grammar are bad Cu .  I regret for being lazy when I was little . Instead of learning in class I sleep & skip . If i was a great student like you then my writing wasn’t bad like this. I feel so slow ;P I will come next week with Dan to visit you at the Cemetery  .

 

August 5, 2011

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August 5, 2011

 

August 5, 2011

Today is the 6th days you gone Cu . I want to be at your house early but I can’t go till my dad go to work. How are you doing ? Ughh . I’m lost & feel sad Cu . D lai thay tuc nguc nua roi. You make a big impact on my life ._. I have to go see the mortage people for my house paperwork at 11am . But i will sneak & go over there tomorrow . I may tell ChiHue to go for me instead. I didn’t have much sleep today . I sleep at 6 am & wake up at 12 pm . . Since the day you left me , it seem like everyone around me feel bad for me & they care for me a lot. Everyone said if i want to go anywhere or need anything just tell them & they will help. I’m speechless & don’t know what to write anymore . . . . It will be a sad day today .